Thursday, May 26, 2011

Did I Mention I Lost 90 Pounds?

Did I have help?  -Yes I did.  Someone such as myself could not suddenly find the discipline to stop eating the way I have been eating for the last many decades without a major interruption into my habitual non- stop /grazing /gorging of food.  Did I really want to stop the insanity surrounding my relationship with food?  Yes, I finally became so disgusted with myself and knew that, on my own I would continue to get larger and bigger and probably die of any one of a number of things associated with obesity.  One day I looked in a mirror and saw Jabba the Hut – that large lump of wrinkly misshapen fat character in the Star Wars and said to myself that is so disgusting.  And that is when Hashem sent me a shaliach.
I was taught that I cannot eat like other people.  How many times are you at a dinner and everyone is taking a luscious looking dessert?  How can I turn that down? I have to taste it.  I’ll never get the chance again.  (And then a lovely women with a svelt figure says “no thanks”!  How did she do that?  I have never been able to do that.)  Tomorrow I’ll say no.  Tomorrow I won’t eat like that, where I can’t breathe. Tomorrow I’ll start, exercising, eating only raw foods, no carbs, never desserts, never drink alcohol, try Slim Fast, Weight Watchers or some other group or diet plan, South Beach,   take pills, eat only low-fat foods, or , I know I'll have Gastric Bypass surgery!  Yeah that's the ticket! etcetera,  etcetera, etcetera…You know the drill.  And on and on it goes…for decades.  

And the reason is because I think that once I lose some weight (or all the weight I want to lose) I can go back to the way I was eating.  I think I now have some control. I can do it myself. But I cannot.  Because if I do I will go back to the way I was, obese.

So I am committed to following the food plan that works for me.  Everyone is different.  Finding the right food plan isn’t hard. What is hard is sticking to it.  Now how are you gonna do that?  That is THE question

For me my shaliach led me to OA- Overeaters Anonymous.  I was willing to try it because nothing else worked for me.  OA is composed of a “fellowship” that knows you and your issues and your challenges because they have been there, done that.  And they HAVE overcome.  It is not for people who need to lose 10 -15 pounds,  although if food is an issue for you no matter what you weigh,  whether you are an overeater or anorexic or bulimic you might check it out.  If you attend a meeting, (which I highly recommend) and there are meetings literally all over the world, you will be amazed at the many miracles. I lost 90 pounds and the same story is repeated by 40 people in the room, I lost 50 pounds, I lost 125 pounds, I lost 60 pounds. I am no longer Type 2 diabetic. I’m off insulin.  I’m off high blood pressure meds completely. I gained 14 pounds ( from a former anorexic). It is most inspiring. There are also frum groups too.
So when you get so disgusted you would be willing to turn it over to Hashem and say You help me!  And He does.  He always does. 
Check out OA.  It works if you are sincere in your wish.   We say “I came for the vanity and I stayed for the sanity.” 

1 comment:

  1. Mazel Tov on your weight loss and thank you for this blog post. I've often thought about OA but always had the, "Nah, not me." attitude along with the excuses you wrote about above. Something brought me here today though to read this blog post.